You want something that’s savory, sweet, and diabeetus-filled? Well, look no further, bitches.
This is a variation of the Best Fuckin’ Chocolate Chip Cookies.
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar (the regular white shit)
- 1/2 cup light brown sugar
- 1/3 butter (softened)
- 1 egg (room temperature)
- 1 teaspoon good vanilla extract (I use this shit)
- 1 teaspoon maple extract or flavoring
- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 2-4 fuckin’ handfuls of semi-sweet chocolate chips
- A package of mother fuckin’ bacon (FYFI: You’ll need real fatty bacon for this. You’re already going to eat some fuckin’ cookies, so don’t get all health conscious on me now.)
- 1/3 cup of bacon grease (Be sure to reserve your bacon grease, fatties.)
1. Fry the shit out of your delicious bacon! Be sure to save the grease.
2. Put the first 6 fuckin’ ingredients in a bowl along with a 1/3 cup of bacon grease and mix until that shit is mixed well.
TitTip: You’ll want your bacon grease to be room temperature or cool. If that shit is hot it will melt your other ingredients and fuck your shit up. Yes, “fuck your shit up” is the technical baking phrase.
Another TitTip: When you are searching for recipes online always read the dumbass comments. Sometimes there is a helpful comment. The bacon grease idea came from an Interwebs comment. It didn’t say how much, so I had to figure that shit out on my own.
3. Now mix in the flour, salt, and baking soda.
4. Your dough should look like this shit:
5. Remember you have bacon and smile.
6. Eat a few pieces of bacon.
7. Make the rest into bacon sprinkles by crumbling them.
8. Mix the bacon sprinkles and chocolate chips into your dough.
9. This is what your dough will look like when all your shit is mixed up.
10. Make 1-inch little dough balls and put some extra bacon sprinkles on top. The extra bacon sprinkles will make your cookies look like a culinary marvel. Plus, you can never have too much diabeetus.
11. Spread your dough balls out a couple of inches apart on a pan.
12. Put that shit in the oven on 375 degrees for about 8-10 minutes.
13. Let that shit cool.
14. Marvel at your talent by eating so many you fall into a blissful diabetic coma. Nighty, night, happy fatty.
When I made these as a test for some friends they liked them. However, about 15 minutes later their stomach hurt. Probably too much bacon grease, so you can lower the amount of bacon grease if you can’t fuckin’ stomach it, pussy. Without the bacon grease there is little bacon flavor, as the sprinkles themselves do not add much bacon flavor.