Happy Birthday ‘Murica!

Today is the birthday of the greatest nation on Earth: ‘Murica!

I made a cookie big enough to fuck up Lady Liberty’s blood glucose levels.

Ingredients

• 2 giant cookies
• 1 dash of fuckin’ justice
• 4 1/2 teaspoons of misogyny
• 3 asstons of Icing Good Enough to Make Your Dick Sneeze
• 1 cup of liberty
• 2 tablespoons of ethnocentrism
• All the pride you can muster (which should be a fuckton, unless you are a foreigner)

Add all the ingredients together and you have the best fuckin’ birthday cake this nation, or any other nation, has ever laid eyes upon.

‘Murica! Fuck Yeah!

I contemplated deep-frying the whole thing. Or topping it in deep-fried butter. Or both.

Instead, I just drew some butter and a Big Gulp in the eagle’s talons. Drawing the butter was easier than deep-frying butter or the whole cookie. I am an ‘Murican, therefore I am lazy.

Have some butter to wash down that giant soda.

Happy fuckin’ birthday, Murrica!

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Tags: 'Merican, America, American, Baking and Confections, Big Gulp, Birthday, Birthday Cake, Butter, Cookie, Cookie Cake, cookies, Cooking, deep fried cookie, Deep frying, Earth, Fourth of July, Freedom, Fuck, Fuck Yeah!, giant cookie, giant cookie cake, giant fuckin' cookie cake, holiday, Holidays, Icing (food), Independence Day, July, Justice, Liberty, Merica, Murrica, Teaspoon, United States