Fuckin’ Impressive Vocabulary

Sometimes I cannot express my excitement with words already in existence, so I make words up (or use less common words). Here is a list of words that I may use throughout my posts.

BTFW – By The Fuckin’ Way

Cockies – Cock + Cookies = Cockies

Cuntinating – Synonym of fascinating.

Dicktacular – Synonym of spectacular, but usually involving a penis.

Dick Zombie – A creature that is hungry for dicks in its mouth. Not to be confused with a zombie dick.

Fizz – Dudes jizz, so chicks fizz.

Fucktacular – Better than spectacular.

FYFI – For Your Fuckin’ Information.

Heart – This term is used instead of drawing hearts or saying love.

IMHFO – In My Humble Fuckin’ Opinion

Interwebs – You are on this right meow.

Jeebus – (1) a power higher than myself (2) (origin) Homer not pronouncing “Jesus” correctly (3) Homer en español

Jeebus Day – Christmas

Lolworthy – Do I need to break this shit down for you? LOL = Laugh Out Loud. Lolworthy means something worthy of a LOL.

Nommy – (1) delicious (2) a cross between *nom, nom, nom* and yummy.

NSFFW – Not Suitable For Fuckin’ Work

OctoVag – (1) a vagina that looks like an octopus (2) an octopus that looks like a vagina

OMJesus – Similar to OMG (Oh My God), but with Jesus (people use “Jesus” and “God” interchangeably, so I’m sure it is fine).

OMJeebus – Used similarly to OMJesus, but “Jeebus” instead of “Jesus”.

Penii – (1) More than one penis. (2) The plural form of penis.

Penisaurus Rex – An elusive, prehistoric creature trapped in modern times attracted by Chocolate Balls of Bliss. Read more about the legendary Penisaurus Rex.

Shittacular – Synonym of spectacular.

Shittastic – Used to describe a dish that is so good you shit yourself while consuming the dish.

Sportsball – Any sport involving a ball, but I use it for any sport.

Titbit – Just a little piece of information to help you out.

TitTip – A “TitTip” is like a “brotip”, but the tip is issued by a lady.

Vagina Raptor – A creature with the body of a raptor and a head shaped like a vulva. She will come out of hiding and be appeased with vagina cupcakes.

Y’all – A contraction, commonly used in Texas, meaning “you all”. NOTE: There is no logical reason to say “you all” instead of “y’all”. Not only is everything bigger and better in Texas, Texans are an efficient people. We ain’t got time to pronounce whole words. We got bigger and better things to do.

A Shittacular List of Emoticons That Aren’t Actually Emoticons: 

In general, I don’t care for shorthand text-speak or emoticons. I prefer to express myself with words like a fuckin’ adult. However, there are certain times on the Interwebs I want to express myself with a facial expression, so I have my own way of doing so.

*smiley face* – :)

*winky face* –  ;)

*sad face* (or sad-faced) – :(

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