Spicy Chocolate Pie with Avocado and Tortilla Chip Crust: Shove It In Your Pie Hole

8 Dec

I would like to give this pie two awards: (1) Best Fuckin’ Pie I Have Ever Made and (2) Top 3 Pies I’ve Ever Eaten. The pie was very smooth n’ creamy n’ <insert other adjectives used to describe a fucktacular pie>.

Ingredients: 

The shit you’ll need for the crust:

  • 2 cups of tortilla chips with the fuck grounded out of them, called tortilla chip meal (reserve 2 tablespoons for the topping)
  • 1/3 cup of coconut oil
  • 1/3 cup of sugar (or sweetener of your choice. I used VitaFiber Powder)
  • 1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon

The shit you’ll need for the filling:

  • 10 ounces of vegan chocolate chips (reserve 2 tablespoons for topping)
  • 1 can of coconut cream (chilled overnight)
  • 1 delicious, ripe avocado
  • 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
  • 1/2 teaspoon of ground cinnamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon of chipotle chile powder

The shit you’ll need for the topping:

  • 1 can of coconut cream (chilled overnight)
  • 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract
  • 2 teaspoons of syrupy sweetener of your choice (I used VitaFiber Syrup)
  • 2 tablespoons of reserved tortilla chip meal
  • 2 tablespoons of reserved vegan chocolate chip, chopped

Making the Crust:

  1. Shove those tortilla chips in a blender or food processor and grind them up until you have something that looks like tortilla chip meal.

TitTip: You’ll need two whole cups of tortilla chip meal. I didn’t think about amount of space tortilla chips take up verus tortilla chip meal, and I ran out of tortilla chips. I had to go to the store, so I could buy more tortilla chips when I only needed half a cup more. Yep, I’m a fuckhead; however, it did give me the opportunity to grab blue corn chips and give the crust a bit of color.

Grind that shit up.

Grind that shit up.

2. Grab a bowl and mix the sugar and coconut oil until well combined.

3. Pour the tortilla chip meal into the sugar and oil mixture, along with the cinnamon, and mix.

Stir that shit together.

Stir that shit together.

4. Press the crust mixture into a 9-inch pie plate, put into an oven at 350 degress Fahrenheit, and bake for about 10 to 15 minutes.

Press that shit in the pie plate.

Press that shit in the pie plate.

Making the Filling: 

  1. Melt the chocolate chips in a pan. Be sure not to burn that shit by stirring it a lot.
  2. In the melted chocolate, blend in about 2/3 of a can of chilled coconut cream (use the more solid part of the coconut creme). Mix and keep on low heat until it is smooth as fuck.
  3. Remove from heat and mix in the vanilla extract, ground cinnamon, and chili powder.
Melt that shit together.

Melt that shit together.

4. Put the avocado into a food processor and add the chocolate mixture once it has cooled.

Put that avocado shit in the food processor.

Put that avocado shit in the food processor.

5. Mix it until it is smooth as fuck. Make sure there aren’t any giant pieces of avocado.

Process that shit until it is smooth as fuck.

Process that shit until it is smooth as fuck.

6. Pour the mixture into the cooled pie crust.

7. Refrigerate the pie for at least 4 hour to set.

Pour that shit in a cooled crust. 

Pour that shit in a cooled crust.

Making the Topping:

  1. Scoop out the more solid part of the coconut cream into a chilled bowl.
  2. Beat the coconut creme until it is smooth.
  3. Add the vanilla and syrupy sweetener and beat it some more.
  4. Throw the coconut whipped cream on top of the set pie.
  5. Add the reserved tortilla chip meal and chocolate bits to make your pie look fancy as fuck.
Put that shit in your pie hole.

Put that shit in your pie hole.

__________

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