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All Vaginas Are Created Equal, But Some Taste Better

26 Aug

Women’s Equality Day deserves pro-lady cupcakes! Where there are pro-lady vagina cupcakes there will most certainly be a Vagina Raptor to fizz all over the place.

A Salute to Lower Lady Bits

This special day made me realize I often put dicks on desserts and use a lot of words for male-parts when speaking or writing, which may make it seem like I like dude junk more than chick junk. Therefore, I would like to take a moment to salute great words for lower lady bits:

  • Beef Curtains
  • Pussy (my personal favorite)
  • Cunt (favorite Shakespearean word)
  • Snapper
  • Panty hamster
  • Flappers
  • VaJayJay
  • Hatchet wound (Ted Bundy would enjoy the violent imagery)
  • Baby shoot
  • Bearded oyster

I bet you had a great time reading these words, since I had a shittacular time making that list. If you aren’t familiar with one or more of the words try adding them to your vocabulary for this special day, the next week, or, if you want to be fucktacular, the rest of your life.

Pro-Pussy and Pro-Tit Cupcakes

Here is a sample of some of my pro-pussy work. Not only can ladies vote, but now they can have cupcakes made in the likeness of their fun bits.

Look at all the cunts!

Look at all the cunts!

Here are some close-ups. Yes, the bottom left is a pussy with teeth. The bottom right looks like a Beholder.

Here are some close-ups. Yes, the bottom left is a pussy with teeth. The bottom right looks like a Beholder.

Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about the titties.

Tits! Boobies! Fun Bags! Breasts!

Tits! Boobies! Fun Bags! Breasts!

If you take nothing else away from this post about this special day, please remember:

Cunts are people too, or rather, cunts are attached to fucktacular people.

Cunts are people too, or rather, cunts are attached to fucktacular people.

Vagina Raptor: A Mythy Legend 

You may have heard “Vagina Raptor” being used as a euphemism for a chick on her rag, but the origin of this euphemism comes from an actual creature with the body of a raptor and a head shaped like a vulva. If you ran into a Vagina Raptor, and she wasn’t munching on some vagina cupcakes, she was probably pretty fuckin’ pissed. Vagina cupcakes aren’t available everywhere, which is why she gets a bad reputation as a bitch.

Once a Vagina Raptor eats a pussy cupcake, she covers herself in this slippery substance and happily slips away.

A happy Vagina Raptor about to enjoy a vagina cupcake. This shit is about to get slippery.

A happy Vagina Raptor about to enjoy a vagina cupcake. This shit is about to get slippery.

There are some people who would insist that Vagina Raptor needs to shave her face or at least give it a little trim, but she is beautiful just the way Jeebus made her.

__________

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