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Be Thankful Your Dreams Aren’t Fucked Up

28 Nov

To make a really long story short: (1) a friend dreamed about a T-Rex using the back of a wolf to get himself off, (2) someone suggested I make this very appropriate dream into a reality, and (3) I make fuckin’ dreams come true.

T-Rex's frustration is rising.

T-Rex’s frustration is rising.

I had the T-Rex cake pan, so I only needed to make the wolf and a giant T-Rex dick.

TitTip: Making cake shapes is pretty fuckin’ easy, so there’s not a necessity for a shaped pan. For the wolf, I had to find a wolf picture with a nice, straight, firm back, print it, and then cut it out. Next, I put the wolf picture on the top of a cake and cut around the edges. That’s it! One cake wolf all ready to facilitate in the satisfaction of T-Rex. You can repeat these steps to make the giant T-Rex dick.

10 steps to T-Rex satisfaction.

10 steps to T-Rex satisfaction.

When I presented the cake to my friend I said, “I made your dream cum true.”

The finished product…

Probably the most artsy and beautiful cake I've made to date. I'm available for weddings and birthdays.

This is the most artsy and beautiful cake I’ve made to date. I’m available for weddings and birthdays.

I’m Fuckin’ Thankful

Today is Thanksgiving, and I am very proud and thankful for how far along my cake decorating skills have come. Please enjoy these close-ups.

Here you can see T-Rex enjoying himself.

Here you can see T-Rex enjoying himself.

The friend I made this for, ever so slowly cut out the giant T-Rex dick, crammed it in his mouth, and ate the whole thing.

I am very detailed-oriented, so I did not forget the penis veins. I wonder if I should put that on a resume?

I am very detailed-oriented, so I did not forget the penis veins. I wonder if I should put that on a resume?

I pointed out that the T-Rex had a rape eye. While people seemed to agree, one person decided he needed to eat the eye. As soon as he got a chance, he cut out the T-Rex eye and ate it. He then proceeded to eat the wolf’s eye. No one knows why he wanted to eat those eyes so bad. Maybe the eyes gave him strange sexual powers?

No one gives the rape eye like a T-Rex.

No one gives the rape eye like a T-Rex.

__________

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