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How to Make a Cake for a Shithead

2 Mar

Have you tried to decorate a cake before, but fucked it up?

Afraid you will fuck up your next cake decorating attempt?

Feeling like a hopeless fuck-up?

Then this is the cake for you to make to win back your undeserved self-esteem! It doesn’t matter how well you make this cake or how much you fuck it up; it will still look like shit and that’s the goal!

The Shit You’ll Need:

How to Make This Shit:

  1. Measure, cut, and stack up your shitty cake. Ensure this shit is stable.
Stack your blurry shit.

Stack your blurry shit.

2. Ice the first layer with some of that fuckin’ amazing buttercream icing.

Ice the first shitty layer.

Ice the first shitty layer.

3. Ice the next shitty layers. Don’t worry about smoothing it out too much. Remember: it is supposed to look like shit.

Ice the other shitty layers.

Ice the other shitty layers.

4. Ice the top shitty layer.

Don't forget to ice the top shitty layer.

Don’t forget to ice the top shitty layer.

5. Add some extra pieces of cake on the side, so you can make a ramp for your shit-like icing.

Add some leftover shit cake pieces to the side. This is a shitty cake and shouldn't look perfect.

Add some leftover shit cake pieces to the side. This is a shitty cake and shouldn’t look perfect.

6. Ice the shit ramps.

Ice the extra shit you stuck to the side.

Ice the extra shit you stuck to the side.

7. Pipe out the butter cream icing. Don’t worry, it doesn’t have to look too nice. The shittier it looks the better!

Pipe out some icing to make your cake look more shit-like.

Pipe out some icing to make your cake look more shit-like.

8. Try to write something clever as legible as possible.

Don't forget to write the message on your shit, so the shithead you are giving it to knows it is for them.

Don’t forget to write the message on your shit, so the shithead you are giving it to knows it is for them.

Extra bonus step: make lil’ pooplets with the leftover cupcakes or pieces of cake.

Make bonus lil' pooplets for the other people in your life. They are probably shitty too, but not a total shithead.

Make bonus lil’ pooplets for the other people in your life. They are probably shitty too, but not a total shithead.

Give this to the shithead in your life and make him (or her) super fuckin’ happy!

__________

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