Tag Archives: cookie butter

Warning: Contains Diabeetus!

13 Mar

Holy fuck! Diabeetus tastes sooooooo good! To get my sugar fix, I made peanut butter bars, but I substituted cookie butter for peanut butter and produced a diabeetus-filled treat!

There was something missing, but what the fuck was it?

There was something missing, but what the fuck was it?

So far, it didn’t look like it had the diabeetus touch. I needed to make it glaringly obvious that consumption of this shittacular treat would give the consumer instantaneous diabeetus.

Question: How does one make a dish look like instant diabeetus?

Answer: Just pile a fuckton of candy on the top and the sides, and draw a diabetic pussy on it.

You are once again super fuckin' impressed with my artistic skillz.

You are once again super fuckin’ impressed with my artistic skillz.

Join me next time when I make an HIV-filled cheesecake. Mmmm…..AIDS.


Mother Fuckin’ Cupcakes

27 Jun

Cookie butter is like peanut butter, but a fuckton better, like a shitton of fucktons better.


I got the recipe from here. I did change a few things though because I got to make this shit my own and vegan.

Veganize that shit: Use VeganEgg in place of the eggs in the recipe and make your own buttermilk. I am not aware of any vegan buttermilk that is commercially available, but making your own is so fuckin’ simple. To do this, put a 3/4 cup of your favorite vegan milk and half a tablespoon of vinegar in a bowl, mix it up, and then allow it to sit for about 10 minutes. The mixture will curdle a little bit, and then you know that shit is ready

Crunchy as shit.

This shit is crunchy!

Put some crunchy cookie butter mix in the middle before you top it off and put it in the oven.

Throw the crunchy shit in with the batter.

Bake that shit!

Bake that shit!

I didn’t use the icing that comes with the recipe. I used my own fizzworthy chocolate butter cream icing. Why? Cause I like it more. That’s the only fuckin’ reason I need.

Ice those fuckin' cupcakes!

Ice those fuckin’ cupcakes!

I arranged the cupcakes in a nice arch, but decided arches are for angels and McDonald’s. Then, I took a shitty picture. I’m not a photographer. If you think I should be, then you expect too much from me, asshole.

Mother Fuckin' Cupcakes!

Mother Fuckin’ Cupcakes!

Seriously, I took about 15 pictures and this one was the best one.

Once I got my jollies from writing “mother fuckin'” on something as innocent as cupcakes, I finished them by topping them with the rest of the cookie butter crunchy shit.

Close up, bitch!

Here’s your close up, bitches!