Just Add Gay

10 Oct

This red velvet cake was a salute to a lady who likes ladies. You know who you are. *winky face*

The secret is out!

The secret is out!

This was the recipe I used, but I added a dash of gay to give it just a hint of fabulous.

Veganize that shit: As with most recipes, this one was easy to veganize. Replace the eggs with VeganEgg, and the cream cheese and butter with your favorite vegan alternative. I am not aware of any vegan buttermilk that is commercially available, but making your own is so fuckin’ simple. To do this, put a cup of your favorite vegan milk and 3/4 tablespoon of vinegar in a bowl, mix it up, and then allow that shit sit for about 10 minutes. The mixture will curdle a little bit, and then you know that shit is ready.

FYFI: You may be thinking, “I haven’t seen a bottle of gay in the supermarket. How do I get gay?”. Don’t fret, straight ally, I am super fuckin’ nice, so I will share the secret of getting gay in four easy steps. (Don’t forget to bring a jar so you can save your gay for future baked goods.)

  1. Locate a homosexual. (THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!!)
  2. Gain the trust of the homosexual. Or get the homosexual drunk.
  3. Secretly expose the homosexual to something he/she is allergic to (e.g., a Southern state, non-organic foods, a Republican senator, etc.) or you can tickle their nose with a sensual feather.
  4. Open your jar and hold it out to catch their magical sneeze juices.

That’s it? Yes, it is that easy! I always couple a drunk homosexual with the sensual feather tickle. I think that is the most effective, fastest, and fun combination for both the tickler and the tickle-ee, but do whatever you fuckin’ want.

This cake was so gay. I mean, nommy. This cake was so nommy.

This cake was so gay. I mean, nommy. This cake was so nommy.

This was a pretty good cake, but next time I will add more gay. TitTip: You can never have too much gay.


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