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Christmas Cock Cookies

19 Dec

This year I thought it would be fucktacular to make festive Christmas cock cookies.

I mean, who doesn’t love The Cock?

Cock Cookie Construction

Pick a standard sugar cookie recipe and start cutting some dicks out of that dough. Remember: Tis’ the season, so make that shit festive. I made mine festive by giving the dongs lil’ Santa hats, but you can try something else by using your god-dammed imagination.

I gave these dicks lil' hats. Dicks love hats.

I gave these dicks lil’ hats. Dicks love hats.

Surprisingly, these dicks were very delicate. I thought dicks were supposed to be hard, but, I guess, they are acting hard because they are big softies and trying to hide this trait.

This dick was soft.

This dick was soft.

Finishing off Fun Sticks: Explosive Fun

After baking and letting the wangs fuckin’ cool, you can decorate the shit out of the life size flesh towers.

Don't forget the pubes!

Don’t forget the pubes!

After breaking a bunch of the trouser snakes, I managed to have 13 finished peckers with lil’ warm heads.

On the 13th day of Jeebus' birthday, my baker gave to me: 13 cock cookies wearing lil' Santa hats on their heads.

On the 13th day of Jeebus’ birthday, my baker gave to me: 13 cock cookies wearing lil’ Santa hats on their heads.

TitTip: Use the smallest schlong cookie cutter you can find, if you can find smaller dick cookie cutters. The smaller, sturdier schmeckels may be less likely to break than these long, big dicks. From the tip of the hat to the bottom of the balls, these dicks were about 10 inches, which makes for a pretty fuckin’ big cock cookie. After decorating them, most of the heavily iced balls would break off, unless I was very gentle with the wangs. (FYFI: I am not gentle with wangs.)

Merry fuckin’ Jeebus Day!

_________

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3 Responses to “Christmas Cock Cookies”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. This Thanksgiving I’m Thankful for Dick (Cookies) | The Foul-Mouthed Baker - November 23, 2016

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  2. The Best Damn Sugar Cookies: Sturdy, Vegan, and Gluten-Free | The Foul-Mouthed Baker - December 22, 2016

    […] Christmas Hats […]

  3. Spicy Chocolate Cocks: Cram it in Your Cock Hole! | The Foul-Mouthed Baker - April 13, 2017

    […] Dicks with Hats […]

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