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Keep a Fuckin’ Resolution in 2014

2 Jan

Similar to a lot of people, I drank a lot last year on New Year’s Eve, which resulted in events on this cake. This year I resolved that the same thing would not happen, so I wrote it on a cookie cake and brought it with me to my party destination.

I was really hoping the party would be filled with familiar faces, so I could have puked in front of people I knew.

I was really hoping the party would be filled with familiar faces, so I could have puked in front of people I knew.

My favorite part of this cookie cake: The shittily overdone decorations.

FYFI: I started off trying to make this look genuinely fucktacular, but failed, obviously. The lesson: If you start decorating a cake without a plan your cake will probably look like a clumsy penisaurus rex decorated it. <INSERT JOKE ABOUT THE TIP. Because cake decorating involves tips and a cock has a tip. Get it?>

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Hey, cunts, check out some more cookie cakes I’ve made:

  1. Instructions to construct a dicktacular cookie cake that will give your friends diabeetus.
  2. Make a cookie cake for ‘MURICA!
  3. Divorced? Celebrate with a cookie cake.

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